I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
