You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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