dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
