u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
