So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Green mimosas i think yes
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
