They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
