worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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