hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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