I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
