You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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