I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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