I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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