he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
