His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
