I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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