can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
