I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
