I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
