You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
