I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
