just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
