Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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