Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
