can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He shit in the fireplace
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
