dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
