Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
