We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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