he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Less talking, more tequila
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
