I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
