You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
