Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
