Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
