I want to walk on stilts...naked
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize