i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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