I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
