I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
