you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I need a beard to bite.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
