i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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