I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
