i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
