I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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