Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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