You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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