Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
