i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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