He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
You were trust falling into bushes
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
