arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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