Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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