Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
