Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
