Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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