My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
