Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
