Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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