I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize