My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
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