Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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