you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
