Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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