i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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